Big Driver Read online

  I tuck the reduced hand under the sheets. That way it won’t get cold. Then I wave away some flies. I can’t remember ever seeing flies in our apartment before. They probably smelled that dead rat Carlo was talking about.

  “You know Billy Ederle?” I say. “I gave him a slant on that damn Po-10s account, and I think he’s going to run with it.”

  Nothing from Ellen.

  “You can’t be dead,” I say. “That’s unacceptable.”

  Nothing from Ellen.

  “Do you want coffee?” I glance at my watch. “Something to eat? We’ve got chicken soup. Just the kind that comes in the pouches, but it’s not bad when it’s hot. What do you say, El?”

  She says nothing.

  “All right,” I say. “That’s all right. Remember when we went to the Bahamas, hon? When we went snorkeling and you had to quit because you were crying? And when I asked why, you said, ‘Because it’s all so beautiful.’”

  Now I’m the one who’s crying.

  “Are you sure you don’t want to get up and walk around a little? I’ll open the windows and let in some fresh air.”

  Nothing from Ellen.

  I sigh. I stroke that fluff of hair. “All right,” I say, “why don’t you just sleep for a little while longer? I’ll sit here beside you.”