An Evening at Gods Read online

  An Evening at GODsAn Evening at GODs

  Stephen King

  A one minit play, 1990

  DARK STAGE. Then a spotlight hits a papier-mache globe, spinning all by itself

  in the middle of darkness. Little by little, the stage lights COME UP, and we

  see a bare-stage representation of a living room: an easy chair with a table

  beside it (there’s an open bottle of beer on the table), and a console TV across

  the room. There’s a picnic cooler-full of beer under the table. Also, a great

  many empties. GOD is feeling pretty good. At stage left, there’s a door.

  GOD – a big guy with a white beard – is sitting in the chair, alternately

  reading a book (When Bad Things Happen to Good People) and watching the tube. He

  has to crane whenever he wants to look at the set, because the floating globe

  (actually hung on a length of string, I imagine) is in his line of vision.

  There’s a sitcom on TV. Every now and then GOD chuckles along with the

  laugh-track.

  There is a knock at the door.

  GOD (big amplified voice)

  Come in! Verily, it is open unto you!

  The door opens. In comes ST. PETER, dressed in a snazzy white robe. He’s also

  carrying a briefcase.

  GOD

  Peter! I thought you were on vacation!

  ST. PETER

  Leaving in half an hour, but I thought I’d bring the papers for you to sign.

  How are you, GOD?

  GOD

  Better. I should know better than to eat those chili peppers. They burn me at

  both ends. Are those the letters of transmission from hell?

  ST. PETER

  Yes, finally. Thank GOD. Excuse the pun.

  He removes some papers from his briefcase. GOD scans them, then holds out his

  hand impatiently, ST PETER has been looking at the floating globe. He looks

  back, sees GOD is waiting, and puts a pen in his out-stretched hand. GOD

  scribbles his signature. As he does, ST. PETER goes back to gazing at the globe.

  ST. PETER

  So Earth’s still there, Huh? After All these years.

  GOD hands the papers back and looks up at it. His gaze is rather irritated.

  GOD

  Yes, the housekeeper is the most forgetful bitch in the universe.

  An EXPLOSION OF LAUGHTER from the TV. GOD cranes to see. Too late.

  GOD

  Damm, was that Alan Alda?

  ST. PETER

  It may have been, sir – I really couldn’t see.

  GOD

  Me, either.

  He leans forward and crushes the floating globe to powder.

  GOD (inmensely satisfied)

  There. Been meaning to do that for a long time. Now I can see the TV..

  ST. PETER looks sadly at the crushed remains of the earth.

  ST. PETER

  Umm... I believe that was alan Alda’s world, GOD.

  GOD

  So? (Chuckles at the TV) Robin Williams! I LOVE Robin Williams!

  ST. PETER

  I believe both Alda and Williams Were on it when you..umm...passed Judgement,

  sir.

  GOD

  Oh, I’ve got all the videotapes. No problem. Want a beer?

  As ST. PETER takes one, the stage-lights begin to dim. A spotlight come up on

  the remains on the globe.

  ST. PETER

  I actually sort of liked that one, GOD – Earth, I mean.

  GOD

  It wasn’t bad, but there’s more where that came from. Now – let’s Drink to your

  vacation!

  They are just shadows in the dimness now, although it’s a little easier to see

  GOD, because there’s a faint nimbus of light around his head. They clink

  bottles. A roar of laughter from the TV.

  GOD

  Look! It’s Richard Pryor! That guy kills me! I suppose he was...

  ST. PETER

  Ummm... yessir.

  GOD

  Shit. (Pause) Maybe I better cut Down on my drinking. (Pause) Still... It WAS in

  the way.

  Fade to black, except for the spotlight on the ruins of the floating globe.

  ST. PETER

  Yessir.

  GOD (muttering)

  My son got back, didn’t he?

  ST. PETER

  Yessir, some time ago.

  GOD

  Good. Everything’s hunky-dory, then.

  THE SPOTLIGHT GOES OUT.

  (Author’s note: GOD’S VOICE should be as loud as possible.)

 

 

  Stephen King, An Evening at Gods

  Thanks for reading the books on GrayCity.Net